Friday, 28 May 2010

On track mind

Good run today, you may notice from the 'interesting things' section that there was a certain theme going on.  Alas filthy thoughts and good running times don't always go hand-in-hand or I would be training for the England 2012 running team by now.

Location = Clissold Park
Ran 6 miles = +7 XP
Time was 53.51 = 8min58secs/mile = +2 XP (Hurray!)
Total = 9 XP

Grand Total = 26 XP

That means I should go up to level 3 next time.

6 miles = 30 GP

Cute female jogger +2 GP

Interesting things:

Hardcore full-frontal girl-on-girl hand-holding +1GP
A pair of '50s fillies on '50s bicycles, enjoying the good vibrations +2GP

Total = 35 GP

So that's 37 gold in all.  I think today's time broke the Curse of the Overheating Fat Bloke so I'll get rid of that and buy myself some proper jogging shorts (20 GP) selling the old shorts for 2 GP.  I've also just weighed myself and I'm under 15 stone so to celebrate I'll buy a Belly Bulge reduction (10 GP) leaving 9 gold in the bank.  Given my mindset I'll have to bear the Oversize Manga-Style Sweat Drop of Friskiness for now.

LVL: 2
XP: 26
Gold: 9

Monday, 24 May 2010

Bake at Gas Mark 4 for 29 minutes

Dear god that was hot.  I had planned the full 6 mile run to make up for a lack of mid-week jogging last week but the heat defeated me.  The first lap was fine and I was looking forward to a nice sunny hour of running but by halfway through the second lap my head was swimming and I was slowing down rapidly.  I decided to cut it to the 3 mile run at that point and I'm glad I did - look at my /mile time!

Location = Clissold Park
Ran 3 miles = +3 XP
Time was 28.47 = 9min35secs/mile = +0 XP (bloody hell that's slow)
Total = 3 XP

On Saturday I cycled to Hampstead Heath and back (3.8 miles each way) +1 XP

Grand Total = 17 XP

Not much in the way of gold either, I put it down to lack of concentration due to the heat..

3 miles = 15 GP
Running in Heatwave +3 GP

Cute female jogger +2 GP

Interesting things:

Little Orphan Annie-alike playing dead for Dad +1 GP
Dicta-jogging - multitasking gone mad +1 GP
A snowstorm of silvery seeds +1 GP

Total = 23 GP

Leaving me with 28 GP including what I banked last time.  I think I'll use most of it on the wraparound shades (25GP) then buy a bottle of water (1GP) as I certainly need it.  I'll also have to endure the Curse of the Overheating Fat Bloke (-1 to endurance).

LVL: 2
XP: 17
Gold: 2

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Six miles of greenfly swallowing - NEW LEVEL!

Ugggh, mouthful of insects, bleugh.

But I managed 6 miles so that means:

Location = Clissold Park
Ran 6 miles = +7XP
Time was 54.54 = 9min 09/mile (oooh, 54 seconds too slow) = +1XP
Total = 8XP
Grand Total = 13XP - Level 2!

I shall let you know what book I buy.

Now for the gold.

6 miles = 30 GP

Cute female joggers (x3) = 6 GP
Running in greenfly 0.5 GP/mile = 3 GP
Attack of the baby Yorkie - twice! = 5 GP

Interesting things:

Park Landscapers drilling for Oil (at least, that's what it looked like...) 3 GP
A Trio of tipsy tramps 1 GP

Total = 48 GP
Grand Total = 59 GP

A windfall!  I'll get the unbranded trainers and the cheap casio watch leaving me with 19 GP to spend.  I think I'll grab some socks and the faded t-shirt, sell the old T for 2 GP to leave me with 6 GP.  I'll buy a Stick of Dog Distracting to help me in future Yorkie attacks and bank the rest.  Oh and I'll give myself a level 2 haircut and shave too.

LVL: 2
XP: 13
Gold: 5

Thursday, 13 May 2010

First run!

Now to add today's running result.

Location = Clissold Park
Ran 3 miles = +3XP
Time was 26.52 = 9min/mile = +2XP
Total = 5XP

Hooray, halfway to level 2.

Now for the gold.

3 miles = 15 GP

Interesting things:

Primary school footballers appealing to ref about over-the-jumper/goalpost-shot 1 GP
Two Hasidic Jewish gents a-wandering in the wilderness (very picturesque) 1 GP
A train of tennis playing tweens 1 GP
A bescarfed young man attempting to pick up a stick while the dogs whose leads he's holding in each hand strain to rush off in opposite directions (amusement value bonus) 3 GP

Total = 21 GP

I shall save some for the trainers next time and just go for the vaguely pink old white t-shirt (5 GP) and the wrinkled beach shorts (5 GP).  I shall also display my current special items - the Mark of the Overexcited Staffie and the Medal of Last Years Run.

That leaves me on...

LVL: 1
XP: 5
Gold: 11

Welcome to Dungeons and Dogwalkers

The geekiest way to train.

First some background. Last september I ran a half marathon with a couple of friends, it was a gruelling experience for someone like me with little to no sporting background. At the beginning of my training I weighed 16 stone which on my 5 foot 9 frame I am told was edging into the 'clinically obese' end of the BMI, I could hardly run a mile. By the end of my training I was down to 14 stone and I made it round the half marathon in 2 hours 22 mins. Not a great time and I did end up walking for about half a mile but I got round.

Six months later I'm back up to 15.5 stone and the training for this year's half marathon starts in earnest. Then disaster strikes: My (far fitter) running partner gets a new job and moves out of London. Now I should hope I'm self-disciplined enough to continue my training alone, but it was his constant encouragement, chivvying and flat-out insulting that kept me going further and faster each time.

So I'm worried. How am I going to improve my running time now? I don't know anyone else who runs who I'm good enough friends with that they won't mind me slowing them down all the time. My only other running friend does odd things like early morning runs and two laps round hampstead heath and I know I'd never keep up.

So what does that leave? How can I keep my interest and my focus for the next six months?

Three nights ago I was lying in bed, having finally crashed out after 5 hours of Modern Warfare 2 and I realised my addiction to the game lay not in the game itself - which is a fairly standard First Person Shooter - but in the experience system whereby you gain levels, abilities and new weapons. And that applies to a lot of things - the D&D and Advanced Hero Quest I used to play in my younger years, games like Oblivion, Fallout 3, Dawn of War 2 even Spore use a levelling system of one kind or another.

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give myself experience points each time I train, and when I go up a level I'll treat myself to a book or a DVD or similar. I'm also going to give myself gold pieces with which I'll upgrade my running character with new imaginary kit, just for fun. I've roughed out some experience and gold earning tables - you can see them in the menu above. Expect these to be added to and revised as I perfect the system.

So here's me - Gary (LVL 1 Slob)

Equipped as standard with:
  • Embarrassingly tight shorts bought ten plus years ago (-1 to charisma)
  • Extremely inappropriate footwear (-1 to endurance)
  • Belly Bulge of Sloth (-1 to speed)
It's not a new idea - I'm told some student developed a similar system to help himself revise for exams - but who cares? As long as it keeps me running.

LVL: 1
XP: 0
Gold: 0